Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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