i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
