there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize