On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
