they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
