I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
