Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
