this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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