yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
