He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude i'm inner monologue high
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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