sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize