I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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