Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Where is the hickey?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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