Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
