Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
