she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
