He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
