Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
