the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize