My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
