this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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