lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize