Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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