? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
