This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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