he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
