Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
