Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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