who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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