oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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