I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
