Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
