Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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