You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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