just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
