nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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