New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
