you have to choose: penises or morals?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
