i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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