somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
