Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
