Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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