it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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