goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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