hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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