Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
