we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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