Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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