May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I could make wine with my vomit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
