Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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