trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
