I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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