so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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