yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
