I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
