bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
