i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
