You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
