found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize