so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
