I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
