that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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